Being a priestess of the Lady, and having already undergone and surviving a 14 year journey of descent and ascent, I decided with this retrograde that I would personally holy-hermit through this transit via my energetic withdrawal from the active machinations of the chaos of desire and power control in the context of relationships. I told myself that I would seek sacred solitude and wrestle my lions, for they have been wild within me, fierce with roar and roam. For the lion is associated with Inanna/Ishtar- is in fact, her animal totem of power and majesty- and I was not feeling fully in mastery of myself. But in order to do so, I had to surrender to the journey. I decided, in essence, to be the Magdalene in the Wilderness- my own 40 days and 40 nights to look my temptations... those fiercely roaring, roaming beasts, my own inner war… in the face- including most intimately the ones deep within my own well. To employ my blessed balm to my own heart scars, to declare myself the Annointed One as I underwent this transformation. In doing so, I could once again claim my seat on the throne of Empress- she who bears the scepter of personal power and also the shield of Venus. My lions calm with majesty, confident in my power.
It wasn’t easy, this transit. Not just for myself, but so many- and it seems to have been especially heavy work for so many of my scarlet sisters- women walking the scarlet path… Lilith women, Magdalene women, Inanna/Ishtar women. There have been deep revelations concerning power in relationships during this transit, as well as with authenticity. Veils were removed, and many of us stood vulnerable with each lost layer- just as Inanna did with each sacrifice made deeper along Her descent. This transit has truly embodied the challenges and treasures found within deep inner heart work. We may find that our concepts of relationships have undergone a deep transformation, or an intense validation process. We may also find that what we previously considered part of our core authentic self has also undergone the same process of shift and reveal. Self-aspects may have been released and others discovered (or rediscovered). This work has pulled the veil from over our eyes in many ways- including veils we may have self-created as a result of denial or in avoidance of healing certain emotional issues. Many of us have been in our desert wilderness, wrestling with our beasts. Many of us have let go of people and situations that had brought only conflict. Conflict can be necessary for growth, but there comes a time when it no longer serves our growth. This transit has highlighted that in a major way. The focus has been on release to make way for resurrection. On sacrifice and surrender in order to soar.
These last 40 days for myself personally included the following:
*I sacrificed a Beloved passion of mine, in the name of Holy Love and sacred sisterhood.
*I quickly received crystal clear vision on a sudden ‘relationship’ that was not at all what it was being presented as, and removed myself from it, ending energetic drain and regaining equilibrium.
*I dwelled for a good while in the bitter desert within, in my dark and shadow- and looked my anger, my depression, my despair, my disgust, my deepest losses and my most intense regrets in the face. And I sat with them. I slept with them. I spoke with them. They permeated my dreamscape. Keening dreaming. My psyche purging. Just surrendered to them, flowing in the Void.
*I finally gathered strength to find out how my husband…who was all at once my Osiris, my Hades, my Dumuzi, my Bridegroom…to find out the exact details of his cause of death, and found it was ruled a suicide. Widow mourning fresh as the fields are reaped and the sacrificial gods meet their fate, bringing further release and the compost of rebirth.
*And I released a connection tied to my Mother-wound. Taking care of my own inner child without guilt, as I have learned to do.
Intense, needless to say.
I feel completely different than I did a month ago. These 40 days have personally felt like several years worth of wisdom-work.
Serious alchemy, this transit. Flame to ash. Descent to ascent. You may find yourself having to take a little time and recover from the emotional exhaustion of this transit. Do so. This is not the time for self-martyrdom. Now is the time to allow the tides of regeneration to flood in. Allow yourself to remain receptive to healing, and nourish yourself. Venus direct in Leo heralds emotional expansion, so fill yourself with ecstatic experience and empowerment expression. Continue the focus on fulfillment and healing. You deserve it!
Empress enthroned. The mastery of the lions, the Queen out of the Underworld.
The Magdalene, back from the desert wilderness, dancing in the Garden.
Her own holy balm on her burns...
the Goddess returns.